F, this is my prize?
by Kumatheawesome
Summary: Ever wins Hetalia units for a contest, and she thought her life couldn't get any worse. Yet another Manual fic *sigh* Rated T for language. No pairings until germany's manual comes. Hetalia belongs to Himayura, the APH manuals to LolliDictator.REVIEW
1. The World Hates Me

**Kuma:First Manual fic. plz enjoy!**

**Ever: Kuma doesn't own Hetalia, and the Manuals belong to Lollidictator, who i believe must be very creative to come up with such a great idea as this.**

**Chapter 1: The World Hates Me**

Hello. I'm Evangeline, but you can call me Ever. I live on a old, brokendown ranch in Idaho, miles from the nearest neighbor. The only company i have is a husky-wolf named Courage and a horse named Foxfire, along with various goats(which used to belong to my grandpa.I don't own them, they're just there). I write and practically live online, and some dozen people asked me to enter the National Writing Competition. So a couple months ago I sent in a story, and now we're here in the present. I opened the door and a man from Flying Mint Bunny Corparation was standing there.

"Hello. You Have Won the National Writing Competition, sponsered by FMB co. Your prize is our wonderful and revaloutianary Hetalia Units. You will recieve these at random points over a year." His voice was dull, probably had to say this to everyone who ordered/accidentally clicked/won/received the hetalia units. "So,here's your first unit. Please remember FMB co. is not responsible for any injuries."

"What's your name?"

"Kent. Since you seem nice, I hope you aren't killed." Wait, these things can kill you... These units don't sound as safe anymore. I dragged the box inside and picked up the manual.

Alfred F. Jones

So I got America first. How is this going to kill me again? I flipped to the waking up your unit section.

**Removal of your ALFRED F. JONES from Packaging:**

Your ALFRED F. JONES unit is a happy, energetic unit - for the most part - and there are rarely any problems with waking him up. It is impossible to accidentally knock him into a dangerous mode when removing him from his package; the most you need to worry about is him being _too_ happy and energetic. In order to avoid that, we have provided you with a few ways that you can wake him carefully and get right to work on any reprogramming you might want to do!

1. Play the American national anthem, or any patriotic American song. Loudly. Your unit will respond immediately, singing horribly out-of-tune until the song is over; you can reprogram him during this time, and the faster you do this the faster he'll stop singing.

hmm. I don't have any patriotic songs at my house, and I can't sing.

2. Put on a kid's superhero show or movie (preferably Superman or Batman) loud enough to be heard down the street. Your unit will whine for you to let him out of the box, and will run to the television as soon as you do. While he watches, you can reprogram him; however, be warned that if your chosen superhero is prone to striking heroic poses, your unit might jump up and do them as well.

Don't keep any of those around either. Maybe the next one...

3. Speak with a British accent or in Russian. ALFRED F. JONES will reply positively to the first one, and a little coldly to the second, but he will get up anyway.

That I can do. I cleared my thrrought before I spoke a near perfect English Accent

"Alfred! get up you bloody wanker!"

"Artie!"

The top of the flew off the box, hitting the ceiling. The blond man was looking around the room for Arthur.

"Sorry, he's not here. I'm Ever."

"Hi! I'm Alfred F. Jones, The HERO!"

"Nice ta meet ya. Welcome to The Middle Of Nowhere, Idaho. Wanna see your room?"

"Sounds good." I led him to one of the many spare rooms my grandfather added. He loved company, so that he built tons of guest rooms so he could have a lot of people over for a while. But as I walked he stared at my leg.

"What happened to your..." His cheery voice was somber.

"You mean my leg? I lost it and had to get a prosthetic one." I strained to keep the smile on my face. How could he have known not to talk to me about it? I glanced at the clock. 6:30. I pulled out the microwave waffles.

"Hey Alfred! Do you want dinner?" I asked half shouting.

"Sure! I'm starved! Let's go to McDonalds!" He replied, racing down and tumbling past me. "Owwww, that hurt." I laughed.

"Let's Nuke some Waffles!"

"You're eating waffles for dinner?"

"I can also make Bacon,Toast,Bagels,Nuke Pancakes, Hotpockets, and anything that doesn't need an oven/or boiling water/mixing!" A sweatdrop seemed to appear on Alfred's head. Cue my chibi going into emo corner.

"Why don't we go grab McDonalds. The Hero must eat!"

"The it's about an hours drive away. So let's eat my waffles or STARVE." We decided to eat the waffles. MMM... Waffles with lemon juice and sugar are delish, no matter what time you eat them. We watched *Insert Scary Movie Here* Alfred is a big coward, ya know. He also tryed to save me from "a huge wolf". It was Courage, my dog. I finally fell asleep.

**Kuma:Please review, a couple things...**

**Flying Mint Bunny Corporation belongs to Elitekessu for Why Me, an awesomazing manual fic. If you like manual fics, i reccomend Why Me and Thanks for the countries,mom because tftcm is by my bff, and it needs readers.**

**I don't live in Idaho,have a prosthetic leg, own a horse, or have a giant dog. I got Idaho out of nowhere, the leg out of an article on mines in cambodia, the horse from nowhere, and the dog from some friends. Her name is Becca. But I can't cook.**

**Iggy:She's worse than me.**

**Kuma: and England has been kidnapped by me, and reviewers can try to petition for me to *coughcaptureyourfavoritecough* set him free.**

**Ever: BTW saying plz update soon does nothing to Kuma's speed. please tell her about OOCness or any other problems with the story, anything exceptionally good, requests, or inprovements.**

**Kuma: and I won't post until i've fully written the next chapter. PLZ REVIEW PEOPLS**


	2. I Hate It Back

**Kuma:Hello! plz Read and review!**

**Chapter 2: I hate it back**

When I woke up the next morning Alfred was in my bed, using me as a teddy bear. Why had I let him watch a scary movie? I pryed him off me, accidentaly waking him.

"Waa?" I guess he's not a morning person.

"Wake up baka." Neither am I. "Courage won't attack you when you're awake." This didn't work. "You can take my truck and get cheezburgers if you get out of my room." Alfred raced out the door. When I got downstairs, Kent, the FMB guy was at the door.

"Another one? Bring the box in." I picked up the Manual.

Yao Wang

So I got China. I flipped through the manual. Waking up Yao...

2. Play Japanese, Korean or Cantonese music near the box. To the first, he will call happily for Japan; to the second, he will yell for Korea to shut up; for the third, he will bust out of the box and search for his youngest brother. After whichever response, he will turn to you and ask where whichever of his brothers are, and you can reprogram him.

I pulled out my ipod and played Francium, a vocaloid song.

"Kiku ~Aru?" Yao looked around the room untill he saw me.

''Sorry, That was me. I'm Ever"

"I'm Yao ~aru"

"Nice ta meetcha, I'd show ya 'round but I gotta go" Running so I wouldn't be late I grabbed my bike, checked my leg, and headed towards town. When I finally got to the shop Josh was waiting outside expectantlly, tapping his foot with that mock anger expression on his face. He'd have gotten away with it but he had to smile

"Baka. You broke it again." I locked my bike and walked in, staring at the smoking machine thaat was our 3-D printer.

"I was just trying to make an optical illussion outa this book"

"Don't whine! How much stuff we gotta fix today?"

"Not a lot. So pleeeaaassseeee fix it"

"Okay." In case you can't tell already, Josh and I are co founders/workers and each others boss. We work fixing things, Josh makes neccesary pieces with his printer, I do the actual fixing.

"Ya know, you'd get a better job if you got a degree in engineering."

"Colledge moeny went to save my dad, and unless you're payin' I'm better off workin' here and tryin' to publish a book." We worked the rest of the day as usual, insulting each other at the tiniest mistake with cheerful smiles on our faces. I'd have stayed late, but I remembered the guys. I grabbed my bike and rode faster than ever back to my house. Luckily, it was undamaged. Unluckily the truck's engine was smoking. A thousand anime anger marks.

"WHAT DID YOU TO TO MY TRUCK!"

"Uh...Sorry. It broke down halfway home and I had to drag it back."

"Just go inside. Can one of you make dinner, I gotta fix this" Yao and Alfred walked inside and I started to work on the truck. When I finally finished I walked inside to the smell of eggrolls."Mmm, smells good." Of course Yao was staring at my leg. I keep my pants knee-high when I work, so the prosthetic was obvious.

"What happened to your leg ~aru?"

"Lost it, got a prosthetic." Why is that the first thing anyone asks me when we meet? *sigh* I ate the delicious food. "Since I couldn't really introduce myself this morning, I'm Evangeline, Ever for short. Or Eievui, Eevee,Tenshi, Li, Eli, etc. This is middle of nowhere, Idaho. You also happen to be the only one out of all three of us who is able to cook something more complicated then a grilled cheese sandwich. Oh, and my dog-wolf Courage is somewhere..."

"O.k. ~aru"

Thank whatever gods that ave been beleived in, except the mayan ones, that Kyle... Kent! wasn't right. I'm pretty sure i'm alive. *pokes self* And Yao is staring at me wierdly...

"I'm not suffering from insanity..."

"..."

"I'm enjoying every minute of it! SUGAR!"

"..."

"This is Fun!"

"..." I really shouldn't eat that much sugar. The Psychiatrists called me an impossible case. But I'm sane as long as I don't eat...

"SUGAR!" I must have collapsed on the floor after this, or maybe I went a little too insane and lost my memory of it, but when I opened my eyes I was on the couch, half eaten cookie in hand, and the door was open, I realized Alfred was poking me to get up. Keiran..Kyle..Kent! was at the door, large wooden crate behind him.

"Hi...Another one..?"

"Yeah. Wonderful weather we're having." I nodded slowly, as he and Alfred moved the crate in I was about to pick up the manual but I slowly focused on Kent's words. Turning around I opener the wooden blinds to see out the window. My expression slowly turned to a mix of suprise, awe, and excitement.

" It's..."

**Kuma: So sorry for lameness,Not for the cliff hanger though! but you need all of the backstory and characters before it gets good.(Though it'll get fun next chapter!) And I added the sugar part cuz it's awesome.  
>Iggy: Save. me. please.<br>Kuma:don't listen to him. He's insane. Click the blue words below and REVIEW!  
>Ever: our it'll be discontinued!<br>Kuma: Nooooo. CuzIt makes me Happy!  
>Ever:Like drugs?<br>Kuma: But they're better because reviews won't cause any permanent damage!so..like SUGAR!  
>Ever: So...No longer sure wether you should review...<br>Kuma:REVIEW!  
>Ever: And who cares if this is crappy!<br>Kuma: Don't call my story that!  
>Ever:but you called it that!<br>Kuma: but i'm the author. you're a character. I can insult it, you can't.  
>Ever:that's not fair!<br>Kuma: Life's not fair!  
>Kuma &amp; Ever: so...Review!<strong>


	3. General Winter Is Late

**Chapter 3: General Winter is late.**

**Kuma: And the stunning conclusion...**

**Ever: which should be obvious...**

**Kuma:Who Cares! Read and Review and i'll give you cookies and waffles and pancakes, maybe a bunneh!**

**Ever: you're happy.**

**Kuma: cuz it's...**

"SNOWING!" As soon as the words left my mouth Alfred raced over to me and we pressedour faces against the window. I handed Kent a tip before running out into the flakes of snow in the tee I had on yesterday. The icy wind chilled my skin as I twirled in the open field called my yard. A white blanket covered everything, the house, the road, the field, the trees, and and the Flying Mint Bunny delivery van had a light coating of flurries. I suddenly snapped out of the snow-induced trance, shivering as I remembered that there was another unit inside. I dragged the childish man beside me indoors to the box in the center of the room. Picking up the manual I read the name on the cover.

Feliciano Vargas

Feliciano is... Italy. so I got an Italy. Flip to opening, cuz who reads these manuals.

**Removal of your FELICIANO VARGAS Unit from Packaging**

Your unit is a wonderfully amiable one, and it is quite hard to wake him in a way that will make him hate you. To avoid streams of tears soaking into your carpet, however, we have enclosed the following list of fail-safe ways to turn on your unit.

1. Cook a plate of pasta and set it next to the box. If you are worried that you will burn the pasta, simply drag your box into the kitchen and start boiling water. Your unit will start trying to punch his way out, but have no fear - he will stop within the second and start crying that the box is very hard. It is safe to undo the top; he will jump into your arms if you are male, and hug you tightly if you are female, in thanks for saving him from "the scary box"; when he lets go, you can reprogram him if desired.

I can't boil water, but maybe...

"Hey Yao! get over here"

"What is it ~aru" I think morning people must be a myth. Seriously.

"Can you boil some water? pleeaasssee"

"Sure ~aru" and commence the water boiling. The box started shaking like whoever was trying to punch it was to weak. And a moan comes from said box.

"WAAAAH! the scary box is HAAARRRDDD. WAAAAAAH!" I must be hallucinating the pools of water slowly coming out of the cracks. I opened the lid and was instantely squeezed by the killer italian death hug.

"WAAAAH! Thank you for saving me from the scary box!"

"Need...Air...Let...Go...plz..." Either someone pried him off me or he released me after I fainted from oxygen deprivation. When I came too he was making pasta. I will note for all future reference that pastais the wierdest breakfast food. I slipped on a jacket, assured Feli that Courage wouldn't hurt him, and went outside to check on Foxfire and micellaneous goats. After making sure they were fine I walked back in to hear yet another Italian squeal.

"ve~ what happend to your leg!"

"Lost it in a crash, Made a prosthetic to replace it."

"Wait, you Made it?" Oh, I forgot they don't know about that yet...

"Uh huh. Made the bike out there too. A proffesional prosthetic leg would've crashed my account worse than the economy." All that got me was a glare from Alfred and a smug smile from China, oh, and a confused look from Feli."What? It's True..."

TOTALLY POLISH LIKE RANDOM PAGE BREAK

I Should never, EVER, mention the economy around Alfred. Also, I shouldn't brag or punch/kick/hurt people for no reason. Or eat too much sugar. The last two are the stupid trauma pscychiatrist's suggestion, and I don't listen to that crap. Thankfully I don't have to go to work, because the roads are frozen over and I don't have ice skates. Right now I was playing hide and prank with Alfred and Feliciano. The seeker has to find and prank you. I have a huge advantage, and I'm hiding in a part of the house they don't know about, cuz, well... I'll explain. My attic doesn't have a floor really, so you can see the kitchen/living room. And Grandad built a sorta fort, with a bridge to the enterance. I watched Alfred, and Feli run around in circles beneath me. Finally they sat down on the couch just below me. I jumped...

"HIIIII!"

"AAHH!"

"WAAAAHH" ...landing on them. Laughing I got off of them.

" I WIN, BAKA!"

"Where the fuck did you come from!"

"UP!" I grabbed my ipod and played francium.

'NOTHER RANDOM PAGE BREAK, BUT IT'S PRUSSIAN and AWESOME!

I ran around high speed and fell face into snow one..two...THREE! times! Those bastards had kicked me out of MY house after I played Francium loud enough for you to hear it outside. I walked back in.

"I won't ever do it again." until the other units arrive. Then i'll lock it and play it even louder, hiding. MWAHAHAHA! Now for hot chocolate, which is neccesary after being locked outside. but...

"King mushroom km km neck technique  
>neck-silver super oo-ooh!"<p>

"WTF"

"I-"

"Ignore her ~Aru"

"Dragon Quest front line*readyreadyreadyready  
>rare sizu rare sizu<br>readyreadyreadyready"

Yes, to answer all questions, I'm insane because psychiatrists don't work on smart and insane people.I'm proof, straight A+ student...

"CANDEH!"

**Kuma: when I started the chapter it was snowing. I even changed the last one! but it's not anymore, but it shall in my dream universe called fanfiction.  
>Ever:You're insane.<br>Kuma: I told you that already. And anyone who hasn't already, listen to Francium, like, 10 times in a row. You will either be happy or annoyed.  
>Ever:Cuz kuma and I are the same person with different backstories.<br>Kuma: AND I IZ AWESOME!  
>Ever So...<br>Kuma:fun fact: the mushroom thingy and dragon quest thingy are actual lines from Francium, english though...**

****


	4. And I Thought The World Was Over It

**Kuma:HI!**

**Live Audiance:Hi!**

**Kuma: I have a live audience! Reviewers get guest appearances.**

**Ever:Yes, this is another attempt to get more reviewers. You don't even need to login, or even have a profile!**

**Kuma: Click the blue words below, luke, Click them.**

**Ever: Attempt 2.0, review question. What is my alter-ego/creator talking about?**

**Kuma:HA! You don't know, do you.**

**Ever: it's *is blocked by Kuma* Mmmmppphhh**

**Live Audience:What?**

**Kuma:CLASSIFIED! Read & Review**

**Chapter 4: And I was starting to think the world was over it**

Every single last flake of my beautiful excuse, excuse me, snow, had dissapeared overnight. Sighing heavily I trudged down the stairs, and nuked a waffle. I poured chocolate sauce on the huge, fluffy, deliciously-browned belgian waffle, placed strawberrys on top of that, plopped ice cream, sprinkled banana, added cream, and topped it with a bit of mint, plenty of mangoes, and don't forget...sweet onion sauce! My tower of delicious sweet onion sauced waffle! I felt the eyes of Alfred, Yao, Feliciano and someone else..

"Kent! Another one's here?"

"Yep, Can one of you help me?" Alfred and his super strength grabbed the crate-box-thingy. This is so common, I feel like it's Deja Vu. (A/N: Kuma: Did I spell that right?) And doubly so as I picked up the manual.

Ivan Braginski

So, do I have to open it? Yes, I can't leave him in there. But...I flipped to the neccesary section.

**Removal of your IVAN BRAGINSKI Unit from Packaging**

This may prove to be an extremely difficult task if your IVAN BRAGINSKI unit is moved incorrectly, or awakened in the wrong manner. For your safety, we have provided a list of safe ways in which to wake your unit:

1. Stand next to the box and yell, "Brother!" at the top of your lungs. You will hear sobbing from the box, and you can now unlock and unchain it and open it to let a frightened IVAN BRAGINSKI out. He will react warmly once he realizes that you are not a NATALIYA ARLOVSKAYA unit.

That seemed the easiest and safest option. I cleared my throat for the Belarus Impression: Scary Voice.

"Big Brother!" Commence sobbing. Damn, how many chains can you put on one box? I got them all off with Alfred's help. Ivan was overjoyed I wasn't Belarus.

"Hi, I'm Ever"

"I'm Ivan Braginski."

"umm, i'd love to talk, but after I eat my waffle I gotta go." I ate my huge, fluffy, deliciously-browned belgian waffle with chocolate, cream. banana, cream, mint, mango, and sweet onion sauce. It's goood. I wish the snow could have at least iced over the roads so I didn't have to work. *sigh* I rode FoxFire, my wonderful roan mare who I absolutely adore, because I wasn't to sure my bike would have been safe. All of them didn't even know I had a horse! I can't wait, pranking people with all 183 of the houses secret passageways, rooms, traps, hideyholes, and miccelaneous secrets. Thank god for the Grand Master Map my granpa made, i'd have oly found a hundred or so if not for it's helpfulness. From the Attic passageway to the basement demon-summoning room, that house was packed with things I didn't even know, like the combonation to Grandma's secret room. Yet again, Josh was waiting, but this time Kyla,my best friend,(A/N: AWESOME! Kyla, I hope you enjoy this) was with him.

"Kyla! Long time no see!"

"She arrived here yesterday,when you weren't"

"Sorry, I can't ice-skate."

"Ha-ha, very funny. Why didn't you ride that horse of your's?"

"Uhh, So Kyla, why are you here?"

"You haven't answered my question." FoxFire hit Josh with her head, causing him to slip on the wet grass. While he complained I turned to Kyla, awaiting her answer.

"Oh, just wanted to see my Best friend, since you haven't done anything to contact me in a couple years."

"Sorry" An anime sweatdrop appeared over my embarressed face. "So...entered a writing contest, won Hetalia units..."

"YOU WON HETALIA UNITS AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"

"sorry.Want to meet them? I'd have to skip work,but..."

"YES! You can take a holiday, you never use those."

"I'm saving them up!"

"For what?"

"A year long vacation!"

"Dream all you want. Just a week."

"Fine. Let's head back. Need to get anything?"

"I'll be a moment." Kyla went inside and grabbed duffel mounted FoxFire, apoligized and explained to Josh, and headed back to my house.

"Lets sneak in the stable passage and surprise them."

"What units did you get?"

"Alfred then Yao then Feli and this morning I got Ivan."

"Oh...I was hoping to meet Canada."

"Who?" She bitch slapped me for that. "Just joking."

"Good. Baka"

"Watashi wa bakade suimasen!"

"Hai."

"We're here. Be quiet." We snuck around quietly to the stable and into the secret trapdoor underneath FoxFire's stall. The eyes in the wall showed that Alfred had convinced them to watch a scary movie. Good.

"3...2...1...Now!" we jumped out on to them just as someone screamed in the movie. Alfred and Feli screamed so loud, I was rolling on the floor laughing with Kyla,

"Why are you even home~aru"

"Got a holiday for the week. This Is my BF Kyla." She glomps Feli.

"HI!"

"How the heck did you get in here!"

"Secret passage, DUH! there's one from anyplace to any other place. Only we know all 183 of them."

"kolkolkolkolkol" Kyla glomped Ivan.

"This is AWESOME!"

"More awesome than Prussia?"

"Yeah!" I showed her a photo of my tower of waffle, before dissapearing to the attic walkway and watching the four wierd men while catching up.

"So yesterday we were playing hide-n-seek, and I jumped ontop of them the moment they gave up. It was awesome."

"When you get Prussia he'll kill you."

"I'm more awesome than Prussia, and I am descended from a prussian, you can't get more awesome than that! He can't kill me!"

"Yeah, you can dream."

" Lets use the spy cable and grab some cake." We hooked up the harness and lowered ourselves next to the fridge, behind Feliciano making pasta. We grabbed the cake before he noticed us, and when he had his back turned we grabbed the pasta too.

"CAKE!"

**Kuma: A message to the real Kyla, you know who you are and I know you're reading:Can I give away your username? Please pm, email or review me with your answer! and to everyone else, I will know wether it's her or not!  
>Ever:*checks script* Review.<br>Kuma:You need a script?  
>Ever:only for the authors note.<br>Kuma:No More Scripts!  
>Ever:JK REVIEW<br>Kuma:REVEIW  
>Live Audience:REVIEW!<br>Kuma: And Reviewers can join are audience!**  
><strong>LA:Yeah!<br>Kuma:Happy Birthday to whoever's b-day it is, somewhere in the world, it's someone's b-day. And I wish them to enjoy it!  
>Ever:Cuz you're wierd!<br>Kuma:So are you!  
>Ever: Yeah, it's a compliment.<br>Kuma:Oh, and to Annoying (who isn't even on fanfic but who cares) STOP CALLING ME SHOES!  
>Ever:You're just upset he's dating your friend and you like him.<br>Kuma:NOOO! That isn't the case! And Kyla, I'm sorry if you're OOC, infact, i'm sorry for any character being OOC.  
>LA:REVIEW!<strong>


	5. Maybe it is, Finally

**Kuma:Hello Our live audience is:**

**Swirly592**

**And Kyla. Thanks to Swirly592's advice, i've got an even better review plan. My last story had 10 times as much as this one in half the chapters *goes into emo corner* meh *comes out of emo corner. So, every tenth reviewers can request one-shots, and if I like them i'll make them longer, and I will only have very light pairings, and only GerIta, Spamano,UsUK, Giripan, BelaRussia, and depending I might possibly do PruCan, which I don't like or hate.  
>Ever: Who knows<strong>

**Kyla: Hi guys! watcha doing?  
>Kuma: writing the authors note.<strong>

**Kyla:Awesome. Who's that? *points to audience*  
>Ever:our Live Audience<strong>

**Kyla: It's one person...**

**Kuma:that's our reviewed too.**

**Kyla:I did? Yay! Hello Live Audience!**

**Swirly592:Hai**

**Kyla: Review, these guys are lame enough, so support them.**

**Ever:We're Not Lame! R&R  
>Kuma:Yeah! We're the same person! so stop insulting us! R&amp;R<br>Kyla:Yeah, Yeah. I also reviewed, but I can't be in the live audience. BTW The real me is Cloudsandpie, formerly Dialga-chan. Read her/my story Thanks for the countries, is also technically me. TOO MANY NAMES! Four names, and my real name, and my nickname!**

**Kuma:Thanks for the countries, mom inspired me to write this it, it needs moar luv!**

**Kuma,Kyla/cloudsandpie/Dialga-chan/Lostariel/UGH I GIVE UP!,Ever,and Swirly592: READ AND REVIEW!**

"Can I open it!" Kyla was jumping up and down, and I was reading the manual for our unit.

"It's Matthew Williams. Who's he again?"

"It's Canada Bitch"

"I know that. So, Speak french or play the canadian national anthem."

"Oui Madmoiselle." Matthew woke up. Wow, he's easy to wake up.

"Can you see me?" He whispered, or maybe I just thought he whispered. Kyla glomped him.

"CANADA"

"Yo Bro!"

"Hi Alfred..."

"So...umm...Hi, I'm Ever, you've already met Kyla. Welcome to the middle of nowhere."

We

"Can you make some pancakes?" Kyla was doing puppy dog eyes at him. Luckily, he agreed, and Kyla didn't tear down my house. Mmm, Pancakes. Much better then the ones I make. Though he was sorta upset when I didn't use maple syrup. But lemon juice and sugar taste better on pancakes.

"Gotta go read mai fanfiction."

"Do that later, Like when I'm gone."

"OhhKayy."

"So, what should we do?..."

SWITCH POV TO NEUTRAL. RANDOM PAGE BREAK!

The canadian sighed, watching his idiotic brother try to prove he was a superhero. He leaned back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling, or truely the lack of one. A maze of rafters twisted over the large room, with what seemed like walkways. While he was staring up, he slipped somehow off the chair and onto a trapdoor. Falling through he fell about fifteen feet before landing on a giant fluffy stack of mattresses. Moaning softly he stood up. He saw those two girls...Kyla and Ever standing on a platform.

"What just happened?''

''Nothing. We just wanted to test something. How much did that fall hurt?"

"A bit. The mattresses were a good thing to break my fall."

"Ok. Please take the elevator on your right."

Matthew nodded, still very confused at the whole experience. He stepped into the ancient and unsafe seeming elevator. There was one button. He pressed it, confused. As the elevator lowered, he wondered what was hapening. He stepped out onto some stairs heading up. At the top was a trapdoor back right next to the one he had fallen into. How did this house stay stable? As he climbed out he noticed that Kyla and Ever were talking.

"32"

How wierder can it get?

SWITCH BACK TO EVER POV

"Did you see the look on his face! Gold!"

"You chose him just get me mad, didn't you."

"Nao, He's my favorite too. He's just easier than say, Ivan."

'You wouldn't."

''Try me.''

And people wonder why I have so few friends. It's because all of them live in Virginia and NYC mostly,but those ten are a few of all of them who were creeped out or mad at me. It was just a prank Marilyn!(A/N not real person.) I'm glad my few friends stay close to me. I started playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeons: Explorers of Sky. I had been stuck in the hidden land for weeks, because I couldn't beat Dusknoir, so I restarted. My most awesome team, Eevee and Shinx were, well, awesome. I heard someone walk into the room, trying to sneak upon me. I spin kicked them before I could think, and saw Ivan in a scary pose kol-ing with his metal pipe. I picked up the ds and played a recording of Belarus scratching at the door saying big brother in her creepy way. I pointed to the window with a look of mock fear, and he dashed for it, not noticing anything.

"Hey Kyla!"

"What?"

"I accidentaly kicked Ivan, andhe got all scary, so I played a recording of Belarus, and he jumped out the window, and it was like totally awesome!''

''Calm down, you're turning into Poland."

'''kay''

"Here, take this sugar cookie."

I nommed the cookie and ran into a door singing the campfire song.

"Flare up and burn it down  
>from corner to corner with that hellfire<br>don't leave a single trace  
>burn down even their souls<br>Flare up and burn it down  
>answer my calling right now<br>burn down those fools with  
>a crimson flame"<p>

Collapsing on the ground I smiled.

"Sugar.."

Then I realized Kyle...Keith...Kent was staring at me.

"We already got one.''

''I know, I didn't realize it but you got two today. Sorry for the delay." He sweatdropped.

"Iss Fine. Get Alfred or Ivan too help you get it insside."

"Are you OK?"

"Yeaah, too much sugar."

He couldn't find Ivan, so Alfred helped him. I picked up the manual, and as soon as I read the name I locked Feli, Yao, and Mattie in the kitchen to stock up on edible food. Kyla walked in with a What- Did-You-Do-This-Time? look on her face. I showed her the manual and she slapped me with it.

"Sorry"

**Kuma:Lame Cliffhanger is Lame! I am very sorry, but until Fairy Tail is updated on , I won't write. It's physically impossible. WENDY-CHAN! CHARLE! I HAVE TO KNOW IF YOU"RE ALIVE! elfman is a jerk X(**

**Ever:Erza is better than Wendy!**

**Kuma:In a fight,Erza would win, but Wendy's the sky dragon slayer! and whatstherefaces those two from sabertooth are evil!**

**Kyla:Just end the stupid story and stop talking about it!**

**Ever&Kuma:AWWW**

**Kuma:GrayxLyon iS disgusting. Jubia is an Idiot.**

**Kyla:Swirly592 and I will finish this then.**

**Swirly592:Yeah. every tenth reviewer gets a oneshot starting now.**

**Kuma:NatsuxLucy or NatsuxGray?**

**Kyla:SHUT UP!  
>Ever:Hmm, ErzaxGerard or GrayxJubia?<strong>

**Kyla:Uggh!**

**Kuma:Duh! ErzaxGerard. So, HappyxCharle?**

**Swirly592:Review**

**Kuma & Ever: Huh? Oh yeah! REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Kuma:I'm Happy! I got 2 hour delay. And Fairy Tail updated. And I just thoughtup a story idea. I'm going to be a little bit longer in updating.**

**Ever:She's got exams tomorrow.**

**Kuma:Yeah. But I can finish this chapter in one day.**

**Kyla:Reviewers are:Swirly592**

**Kuma:I iz depressed. Does anyone read this shit!**

**Kyla:Why can you call it that when I can't?**

**Ever:Cuz it's my story.**

**Kyla:Is confused**

**Kuma:Review! Prove that you read!**

**Ever:Review!No Login Required!**

**Kyla:Review! They Need It!**

**Swirly592:Review! Just please do it!**

"Why'd you slap me with the manual?"

"Because it's Iggy!"

"I'm really doing it for those who can't stand english cooking, namely, everyone except you and me."

"hhmph. How do we wake him up."

"Get some hamburgers and a fan. Then hide."

"'kay."

She went to find Alfred, I went to grab the fan. Putting Al and the hamburgers infront of the fan, turned it on, and hid.

...

...

...

"Get that shit out of my face Alfred."

We stopped him from doing that. We ducked back behind my secret panel and listened to the box exploded. I peeked out to see Arthur strangling Al. When he saw me he stopped.

"I'm extremely sorry about my behavior..."

"It's fine," I cut in "I'm Ever. Welcome to Middle O'Nowhere."

"IGGY!"

Kyla glomped him. "Hai I'm Kyla. As soon as they...get out of the kitchen, will you make scones for me?" Alfred gaped at her.

"How can you like that disgusting stuff.?"

"Bloody ungrateful git insulting my cooking..."

(A/N:This is the point I leave for school & Return with the intent to kill someone,stopping the story from bieng updated in one )

"Cuz I'm English/german/practically every european country."

"Doitsu?" Italy called out from the kitchen at the mention of Germany.

"Feli, he's not here."

"oh ve~"

"Anyway...Bye!"

"Ever, where the heck are you going."

"uhhh,Eat. They're in the kitchen, so I'm leavin' to chow."

"I'll come with you. So will Mattie."

"Okay, Iggy and Ivan are in charge y'all"

He nodded. I walked towards my bike, and checked on the current. It was running smoothly. I noticed the happy canadian was gaping.

"Wha, Oh my leg. Itsa prosthetic."

"hahaaha, how many have you told?"

"Al, Feli, and Yao. I should probably explain to Iggy and Ivan."

"uh-huh. Where are we eatin'?"

"We aren't. We're pranking them."

"Uh, like that chair fall thing?"

"Sorta, but better. You in?"

"Yeah."

TOTALLY RANDOM AND AWESOME PAGEBREAK XD

(A/N and I can't write till tomorrow. sigh.)

In the end the others were covered with peanut butter and chicken feathers.

"HAHAHA! You guys look so stupid. That was EPIC!"

"Kolkolkol"

"It's not THAT bad."

"Your not covered in this stuff like we are!"

"Ok, Ok. Al can go grab some burgers."

"Yay!"

"Kolkolkol."

"Do whatever you want besides anything involving me, or raping someone."

"Awww."

I pulled out the pervert killing chainsaw.

"Too bad, I was saving this for Frenchie."

They paled.

"That's a fake chainsaw

"Don't tell him that when he gets here, I wanna prank him!"

I love doing stuff like this to people. I live my life by the rule 'overcome a troubled life by laughing at others when you prank them'. It's easier than any other philosophy I know. And the equation goes the worse your life is the more you prank!

"Gonna go watch various old sci-fi shows. Remember, I'm watching you!"

I walked of to do exactly what I said and also grab food, namely cake, out of the fridge in my room. Life is Good.

**Kuma:Sorry this is short. It's about half the words I normally do. I won't update for awhile so again, please review so i know you exist and aren't part of my imajination.**


	7. Cake!

**Kuma:Hi! And Art and Soul is now on our live audience.**

**Art and Soul:Hi!**

**Kuma:She's my sixth reviewer. And, I'm updating because of her. **

**Ever:You need a plot.**

**Kuma:I have a plot! I took hours creating your backstory!**

**Ever:Which is useless right now baka**

**Kuma:I just need all the characters, slowly unravel her secrets, and voila!**

**Kyla:Just shut up!**

**Kuma:Waffles will be handed out chapter 10. And I will advertise any story of your's! Just ask!**

**Ever:Just accept that this story sucks.**

**Kuma:Never! ...**

**Art & Soul:Read and Review!**

**Kuma: Yeah! Read the gorram story and review!**

**Ever:Gorram? Oh, I get it. stop watching sci fi when you should be writing.**

**Kuma:My life exists! And I don't own anything, I could possibly kill you!**

**Ever:No, cuz i am you.**

**Kuma:oh...Does that mean i'm insane?**

**Everyone:R&R**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Pixy Stix!" It was about three in the morning and I was eating WAY too much sugar. No one else was awake yet too, so I couldn't prank them. The doorbell rang.

"HI!"

"Uh, Hi Eevee."

"Hi Kent! Another UNIT?"

"Yep. How come you only remember my name now."

"Cuz sugar heightens my senses and memory for 1.5 hours."

"..."

We dragged the box inside, and it was-Im Yong Soo.

"Mwahahahahahahaha"

I picked up the cd and played it on my laptop right next to the box. Hopefully it wouldn't wake up anyone he started singing along I opened the box.

"Be quiet! I got a prank I need to pull with your help."

"What is it Da Ze~."

"It involves Yao."

"I'm in Da Ze~."

I explained the plan to him, and blindfolded him before Ieading to a secret passage.

"This will open up directly over target Y. 3...2...1...NOW!"

He fell out ontop of the chinese man. I turned and walked away. I had given Yao a wok to keep in his room, so maybe this would end up with only me benifiting. Haha fools, I rule the world!

"Ever, what the heck did you do."

Kyla was staring at me.

"I got korea, and i pranked Yao."

"..."

"And I gave Yao a wok and I'm waiting to see what happens."

"..."

"Wanna pixy stix?"

"Yeah!"

. I was running around in a circle listening to Francium. Yao was walking down the stairs towards us.

"Why did you do that ~aru."

"To prank y'all."

"Pranks originate in korea da ze."

"No, pranks didn't originate anywhere, but the most arguable start of pranks is Prussia."

...

"Wanna pixy stix?"

"Pixy Stix originateted" I whacked him in the head with my book.

"Stop saying that!"

...

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a waffle.

"WaFfLe wAfFlE WAffLE waFFle WaFFlE wAffLe"

And as previously explained, the evil people in white lab coats tell me that I shouldn't eat sugar. Fuck them.I noticed about two hours had , everyone slept in late.

"Oh! Kyla! I have a present for you!"

"What is it?"

"I'll go grab it!"

I ran upstairs and grabbed a box. Running back down I handed it to

"Here."

She ripped it open to find a collection of miniature Hetalia figurines*.

"It's only my duplicates but..."

"Yay!thankyouthankyouthis is awesome!"

"Glad you like them. It's for five years of presents I never gave you."

"Yay!"

I made my tower of waffle, and was eating it when most everyone but Iggy was down. Al was talking to the idiot korean, and Kyla was talking to Canada.

"Meh."

I do that alot. Sitting down and pulling out my laptop, I realized something.

"THE STORY I"M WRIING ON JUST GOT SIX REVIEWS TOTAL!"

"..."

"Who wants celebratory cake?"

I pulled out my sppecial triple chocolate jumbo sized ultamate uber-cake.

"ugh, where is it..."

Setting the cake to one side, I grabbed another one. It was actually several cakes with cchocolate icing, each of them the size of the STCJSUUC. They were arranged to look like a mountain range, and in the middle I put a smaller, green cake.*

"this is the Shangra'la cake, the mountain cakes are equally divided into chocolate, vanilla, and red velvet. the middle is my secret recipe called Paradise Cake. This takes about a week to make, and I will let anyone get it for a party for alot of cash."

"If you can make this, why don't you own a cake shop..."

"Cuz it's boring. Now dig in!"

Basially what happened:

Nom

nom

nom

nom

nom

Cake fight.

Cake fight broken up by iggy.

nom

nom

nom

nom

Take a break and I play Paint it White.

Feli is scared.

nom

nom

nom

randomly go out side and realized it's snowing.

start a snow war

"Okay, I'll film it all, so, Iggy,Al, Kyla, and Mattie are team 1, Ivan, Yao, Feli, and Yong Soo are team A. Let the snow war begin!"

Basically, when one side was winning, I dumped snow of the roof onto them. I recorded my voice like I was a newscaster describing WW3, and nukes were the snow I threw onto them.

Randomly I went back inside and stored the untouched cakes in a secret fridge. The others I put away normally. This was fun.

**Kuma:Longer chapter, but less and A random unit will kiss you!**

***Kyla, that's not your real b-day present, and I truely don't have a single figurine. Sorry.**

**Review!**


	8. Valentines Day! late

**Kuma:11 reviews! So happy! oh, and our short story goes to...**

**Jacquelina-comm:me!**

**Kuma:Who's short story will be the 1st ever Hetalia Sg Atlantis cross!**

**Ever:this is so exciting, but let's get on with the story.**

**Kuma:fine. Happy Valentines Day*late***

**Ever:yeah. link at bottom.**

****

"Happy Valentines Day!"

I was running through the hallway down to the stairs. I love valentines day, because people give me candy. mmm, candy. But now my crush was here* finally. I smiled as the guys walked downstairs.

"Who got me candeh?"

"Uh...We needed to?"

"Yes! ugh, and here i was excited. Anyway..."

I stood up and kissed Mattie on the cheek. He blushed in an adorable way.

"Cuz you're the cutest character, hands down. Now, to prank those who don't get me chocolate."

*ring*

I ran up to the door and saw Kent.

"Happy Valentines day!"

I helped him, or rather, they helped him bring the box in. As Kyla was walking downstairs I grabbed my chainsaw and stared at the box.

"Francis Bonnefois, I'd kill him if I could."

Kyla nodded.I looked up how to open it.

"Ok, cananyone sing la mariaselles? in french?"

"I can..."

I stared up and randomly remembered he was raised by france. perfect mood killer, really.I nodded, and he started singing. It was a pretty song, but I didn't pay attention because I was arming up. As soon as the box started humming, I opened it up and pointed the gun I own right at his head.

"Hello, welcome to Idaho. This is my gun. You're lucky I'm not a serial killer, because I won't kill you. I can and will shoot you in nonlethal places if you do anything."

This is how I react to Francis. In my dreams, I kill him. In my life, I let him live, as you see here. Like I said, I hate him. Wow, can this day get any better? Oh, wait, now my crush is hugging him. crap. I stormed back to my room and played on TinierMe* depressed. It would have been perfect, absolutely perfect, except that bastard showed up. Suddenly, I knew how to get my . I waited until seven o'clock...

~7:00~

"Iggy, I need your help." I told the guy standing in front of me. "Two words, Francis Bonnefois."

He realized what I meant, and we got to work. I turned on the invisible and unlisted FMB unit, and I randomly said kawaii when I saw it. Dressed in black like a spy as well, except the shirt had FMB on it, while I set up the traps. Only Ivan saw me, and he'd laugh at what we did if it suceeded. So, I finally finished with the Valentines Day Ultra Surprise! which is actually named with three exclamation marks. It was kind of cliche`, And I have a weird idea of that word because two guys were talking about it in English, And well..

1:Don't they speak french in Canadia,?

2:They speak it in half of it and the other half speaks american

Me:English.

2:oh yeah...

So, I think of this whenever I hear cliche`. Uhuh. I went downstairs and told Kyla

"Step far away from the stairs."

She looked at me oddly, smirked, and did exactly that, with popcorn. I walked up the stairs.

"Frog! Can you come up and help me with something!"

I yelled, waiting for him to touch the stairs, and as soon as he did..

"BEEP!"

I pressed a button, and A chain came down whacking him in the head. I looked suprised, but didn't shout VENUS LOVE-ME CHAIN! like I wanted. phase one. He was rubbing the back of his head when FMB dropped a crapload of valentines on him. Actually, they were my random stock of cursed valentines, which burst into flame if you touch them. As they fell on him, sprinklers activated, and he was drenched. And I dissapeared through secret hole25715. As soon as I was up, I dumped a jar of red paint on him,with little sparkles in it. And, with the grace of a ninja, I landed ontop of him.

"Oh, hello there, I didn't realize you were still standing here. Can you make eclairs for Dessert?"

**Kuma:sorrry it's short.**

**Ever:Yeah, here's your late Valentine.**

**Kyla:IIIIITTTT"SSSS !**

**Kuma:Yeah, and I drew it by hand!**

**Ever: hope you laughed, or cried if you're a France, FrUK, or Franada fan.**

** .com/albums /o606 /kumatheawesome /Hetalia%20drawings **


	9. Happy BDay Cloudsandpie! not late!

**Kuma:Hello Fans! I'm finally updating! I know that I was originally a faster updater, but with school, projects, and stress, I will revert to the normal whenever. Ni!**

**Ever:You don't need excuses for this story, you need excuses for not writing whatever prize story you're doing. Seriously.**

**Kuma:LackOf Inspiration!**

**Ever:A-huh.**

**Kuma:YESH! Now, On With the Story!.**

**Sister: YOU KILLED NUDGE!**

**Kuma:WAAH! IT WAS ONLY A STORY SVE!**

**Sister: DIE! *walks off to pet cat***

**Ever:your family's weird**

**Kuma:It's your family too...**

**Oh, Kyla-chan leaves, and happy b-day, which is why i'm posting today**

**Ever:Stop making such hard promises.**

**Kuma:So celebrate Cloudsandpie's b-day by reviewing!**

**Kyla:How does that celebrate MY birthday?**

**Kuma:Who cares?**

**NAOW...**

**THIS IS A BREAK THAT STARTS THE STORY YET IS EPIC!**

*Knock*

"GO AWAY!"

*knockknock*

"There's food in the fridge and you can get Feli or Frog to cook something, go away!"

*KNOCK*

"Go the fuck away! I'm busy!"

"Ever, I'm leaving today!"

"Whaa? Oh crap, I forgot sorrysorrysorry!" Running to the door, I slammed into the wall as the door opened, hitting me in the head. "Oww."

Kyla stared at me. "What the heck were you doing?"

"Reading Manga online."

"What manga?"

"Uh, Does it matter?"

"Not really. Come on."

"I know! Let's eat...TARDIS cake!"

"Yaay!"

Well, Iggy was very suprised and happy about it, as you'd expect. I mean, he did make Doctor Who after all.

"For every second we eat this cake, we travel into the future at the rate of 1 second per second."

X3

"What?"

I laughed.

"What the heck is this thing?"

"It's.."

All at once Me, Kyla, and Iggy said "Time And Relevant Dimension In Space"

Morons are so funny to laugh at.

PAGE BREAK THAT COLLAPSES THE TIME-SPACE CONTINUIM

"Aww, I gotta start working again."

"You don't have to..."

"Yes I do!"

...

"...But anyway, I know the best movie to watch!"

'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'

I mean, it's funny as long as giant crowds don't quote it several times.

*Watch Movie*

"Mwahahaha the Vorpal Bunneh will get you!"

"WAAH! BUNNY IS SCARY!"

"It's Okay Feli, the bunny isn't real. That was a puppet attackking them, and paint on the bunny."

"Um, actually." I muttered "that's not paint."

"What! Dude, you're kidding, right!"

"No, they used fake halloween blood from a supermarket! Morons. And Al, don't call me 'dude', "

**Kuma:Sorry it's short, but I had to get it out in time!**

**Ever:Moron.**

**Kuma:Are you okay? you've been calling me that alot lately**

**Ever:You've got a project due soon.**

**Kuma:Oh crap I gotta write that paper! Happy B-Day Kyla-chan!**

**Ever:Yeah, review and celebrate.**

**Kuma:Also, I FINALLY got Paint It, White!**

**Ever:Moron**

**Kuma:So, Review!**


	10. AN

Okay.  
>I just suddenlly realised I haven't told you guys through the stories.<p>

I am really sorry, but I am no longer writing on .  
>I forgot to tell you all so I'm really sorry.<p>

ANYONE can choose to borrow story ideas and continue any story I have up right now.

Kuma out.


End file.
